dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
