im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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