Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
