I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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