Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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