I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
