Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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