made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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