Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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