Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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