Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
