'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize