no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize