She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
