at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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