Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
