Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
