My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
