my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
