So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
