I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
