ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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