I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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