FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize