It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
