This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
