What a fucking waste of an outfit
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
