Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I am mentally ready for anal.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
