Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
