I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
