they need to just BURY HIM!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
