Whod you bang
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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