I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
