i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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