Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
