I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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