This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
