who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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