so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
