Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
