So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
