somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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