Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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