and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
