i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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