Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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