i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
