I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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