ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
