used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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