I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
