TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
