i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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