it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
