id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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