I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
