how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
