I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
