If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
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in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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